I’m my happiest in water and throughout my pregnancy, even during the hyperemesis, the swimming pool was the only place where I didn’t feel sick or in pain. I figured that the pool would be the only pain relief I’d need.
I was then recommended hypnobirthing, signed up to a course and built a plan around a lovely water birth, no pain relief, delayed cord clamping and natural placenta delivery.
When it came to ante-natal classes, I ignored the section on interventions thinking they wouldn’t apply to me.
You see where this is going now…
At 36 weeks, I was given the choice of induction or planned c-section at 39 weeks due to hypertension. I was so scared of a c-section, I opted for an induction. I was also told I might still get my water birth with an induction.
I carried on full steam ahead in my little bubble of imagining this perfect birth and in fact, hoped I’d go into labour before the date of my induction.
I didn’t and headed into hospital for my induction.
I won’t go into the full story of the labour and childbirth here, but I did get the water birth (for a few hours), but I did also use gas and air, ended up with an emergency c-section which also entails having an epidural.
What helped was even though I wasn’t exactly open minded, I’d always been of the opinion that I’d do what it took to make sure my baby was safe. So when it came to consenting to the c-section, I did it without much thought.
Sure I didn’t get the birth I’d imagined, but I’ll never forget that feeling when I saw my little one appear above the curtain following my c-section.
I’ve now learnt that epidurals are great (that moment I realised that I could no longer feel the contractions was amazing), interventions aren’t that scary, having pain relief doesn’t make you a failure and all that matters is you and baby are safe and healthy.
Just now I saw a video of someone who had a 10 pound baby at home without pain relief being called a hero, but my message is we’re all heroes. You might not have a neat birth story, it may have been traumatic but that doesn’t make you any less of a hero.
In my opinion, it makes you more of one.