No this isn’t a post about Shakespeare, although that is one of my special interests (guess which play this quote comes from in the comments!).
What I wanted to talk about was the dilemma of what to do with your name when you get married.
Traditionally, women would change their surname to take their husband’s surname. This stems from when women were considered property – they legally became the possession of their husband on marriage. Whilst this isn’t the case anymore and taking your husband’s name isn’t required in most countries (some countries have even made it a legal requirement for women to retain their surnames), many heterosexual women continue to take their husband’s name after marriage.
I was adamant that I wanted to retain my name, I was almost 31 when I got married, all my qualifications were in my maiden name. I also felt that my identity was ‘Sonay Erten’ and I didn’t want to change that. But I still wanted to reflect the fact I was married so changed most things to ‘Mrs Sonay Erten’. I say most things, I couldn’t figure out how to do it with my current account and it was an admin burden I didn’t fancy after all the wedding planning.
But the past 3 years, Mrs Sonay Erten hasn’t felt right. I still feel like it’s not my identity, especially as my mum is ‘Mrs S Erten’. So I decided that I will go double-barrelled after all (after all my objections to changing my name). What helped me decide was the fact that James also agreed to become double-barrelled so we both have the same name and both go through the process of changing our name rather than it just being something I had to do.
So now I’m off to figure out what the process is and gear myself up for some more boring admin! Send ideas and advice my way!